A reader, who wishes to remain anonymous, recently read an article about picky children on Science Norway.
She is 72 years old, and wrote: "I'm incredibly picky. There are so many things I simply don't like. It's quite a big problem for an adult. It probably started very early in life, but why? I have always wondered."
We asked researchers.
It's completely normal for children to be picky.
"Children become more sceptical of new foods when they start being able to distinguish between what's familiar and what's unfamiliar. It's a natural part of their development," says Christine Helle.
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She is an associate professor at the the University of Agder's Department of Nutrition and Public Health.
Children tend to be the most picky at the age of seven, according to a British study, and then they become less picky throughout their teenage years.
But some remain picky their whole life.
Being social can feel exhausting
Being very selective with food can be exhausting.
Maybe you check the restaurant menu before meeting family or friends. Do you avoid going if you can't find anything you want to eat? Do you bring your own food on an overnight trip?
"For many, the social aspect of food and meals can be extremely challenging, like when they're invited to a gathering and don't know what will be served," says Helle.
Picky eating can have many and complex causes.
Some may have experienced pressure or force related to food and eating earlier in life, which can create negative feelings about mealtimes, Helle explains.
Many inherit a picky relationship with food.
There are plenty of reasons why adults might be picky.(Stock photo: Yly Cahya / Shutterstock / NTB)
Picky genes
"We know that genetics plays a major role in picky eating among children," says Helle, referring to a large British study from 2024.
The researchers compared eating habits of more than 2,000 identical and fraternal twin pairs from when they were 16 months old until they turned 13. All grew up in the same family environment with the same food options.
Identical twins have 100 per cent identical genes, while fraternal twins share about half. This allowed researchers to see how much eating behaviour was influenced by genetics, according to Helle.
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The findings showed that identical twins had more similar likes and dislikes than fraternal twins. Between ages 3 and 13, genes could explain up to 84 per cent of picky eating.
"Knowing that picky eating isn’t something you can fully control can help people relax a little and be more open about the struggle," says Helle.
Even though genetics is an important cause, environmental factors still play a role in whether we become picky eaters. That's why it's important that children get to try new and unfamiliar food, says Christine Helle.(Photo: Universitety of Agder)
A hidden eating disorder
Adults who are very selective about food often shy away from social gatherings. They might struggle to maintain a healthy weight, or they may become overweight. Some even feel nauseous when they try to force themselves to eat unfamiliar foods.
But being extremely picky as an adult can sometimes mask an eating disorder.
In 2022, the diagnosis avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID) was added to ICD-11. This is the diagnostic tool from the World Health Organization.
"This is an eating disorder where the person does not want to change their weight or appearance. It affects people of all ages," says Gry Anette Sælid.
She has a PhD in psychology and teaches courses for parents of children and adolescents with ARFID.
Picky or something more?
There are four key indicators that distinguish normal picky eating from the eating disorder:
Weight loss – or in children, failure to gain weight.
If you lack important nutrients.
If your eating is so limited that you need nutritional supplements or tube feeding.
If you are able to participate in social situations.
"It's the severity that separates normal picky eating from the disorder, especially when it affects social life," says Sælid.
But if you’re now wondering whether you might have ARFID, seeing your doctor won’t necessarily help.
"The diagnosis is so new that it has not yet been added to the systems used by doctors and hospitals. But they can diagnose an unspecified eating disorder," says Sælid.
Could be allergies, age, or taste sensitivity
Picky eating can also have other causes:
People who are picky should get checked for food intolerances.
"Sometimes people seem picky or like they have ARFID, but allergies may be the real reason. That's why we recommend getting tested. If they do have an allergy, they may need help learning that food is safe," says Sælid.
Older adults may also lose their appetite with age.
"If their diet is already limited, they might end up lacking key nutrients. Some older adults may need medical follow-up," explains Christine Helle.
Super-tasters can also struggle. These are people who experience flavours more intensely than others. This especially applies to bitter foods, like coffee, broccoli, kale, rocket, olives, and dark chocolate.
"If these are foods you react to, you may be a super-taster rather than just picky," says Sælid.
"Five per cent have ARFID"
If you avoid foods because of taste, smell, texture, or colour, or if you have very little interest in eating and feel full quickly, it could be avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder.
"It's the degree to which it holds you back that determines whether it's picky eating or an eating disorder," says Sælid. "We're not all born the same. So you have to do a bit of detective work on yourself."
It’s hard to say how many people are affected at some level.
"The diagnosis is new and research varies, but I'd estimate five per cent," says Sælid.
A study from the US showed that nearly one-third of children who were picky continued to be picky at age 23.
Gry Anette Sælid trains families with children, GPs, and staff in hospitals, schools, kindergartens, and municipalities about picky eating and eating difficulties.(Photo: Mat og sånn)
Brown foods are easiest
If you want to change your picky eating habits, Sælid recommends taking your time.
"You need to find motivation and take small steps," she says.
Jumping straight into foods you really dislike won’t work.
"Start with something that feelsmanageable, so practice comes easier. Then you can build from there," says Sælid.
Picky adults and children often avoid the same things. Fish and vegetables are often on the list, and many dislike fruit. Brightly coloured foods can also be tough.
"In those cases, start elsewhere. Brown foods are often easier," says Sælid.
It's okay to try foods that feel slightly uncomfortable – just not so unpleasant that you end up disgusted and give up.
She appreciates that Science Norway's reader raised the issue of picky eating in adults.
"There's a lot of shame and difficult feelings tied to this. Many more adults struggle with it than people think. It has a big impact on their lives," says Sælid.
Not just a matter of willpower
And today, with many people having allergies or following special diets, it hasn’t gotten any easier.
"There's still stigma. Picky people are seen as difficult. Most people can eat normally, so others don't understand that it's not just a matter of pulling yourself together and trying harder," she says.
It's important to start early, says Christine Helle.
Children should get chances to explore food in safe settings without pressure or demands to eat.
"This is especially important if they have a genetic vulnerability to picky eating," says Helle.
She reminds us that meals are about much more than nutrition.
"Meals are about connection, joy, and culture. Being picky shouldn't stop someone from feeling included," she says.
