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Why it's important to forget
Are you worried that you often forget things? Forgetfulness is not only normal, it's important both for mental health and making good decisions, says a brain researcher.
Our brains are bombarded with impressions every day. Processing everything would be overwhelming, which is why the brain needs a way to clear out unnecessary material.
That's one reason why forgetting is important, says psychologist and brain researcher Martin Bystad.
The head of research at the mental health and addiction clinic at the University Hospital of North Norway compares forgetting to a kind of 'weedkiller.'
"Forgetting weeds out memories that we either do not need to keep or should not hold on to. If you're going to move forwards after an unpleasant experience, the brain needs to tone down its emotional impact," he says.
A protective mechanism
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Having an exceptional memory for details can be beneficial in some situations, but it can also come at a cost, the researcher believes.
"If I remembered every critical or unpleasant comment anyone had ever made to me, life would be very difficult. I have worked with patients who continue to dwell on things that were said years ago, and it negatively affects their mental health," he says.
Forgetfulness is therefore a protective mechanism, Bystad explains. It helps prevent us from becoming trapped by negative experiences.
We need to filter information to avoid overload
Forgetfulness also helps us make better decisions.
"The brain needs to identify what is most relevant. Otherwise, we become overwhelmed by details that don't matter," says Bystad.
He believes that the widespread attention given to dementia has caused many people to worry unnecessarily about their memory. This is especially common among older adults, but younger people often fear developing dementia at an early age as well.
"I think there's a perfectionistic element to this. At the same time, many people live under significant stress, and memory tends to be worse when we are tired. That's quickly interpreted as something serious," he says.
What is normal memory?
Together with researcher Ingrid Daae Rasmussen, Bystad conducted a study of what they call normal forgetfulness – forgetfulness that is not related to illness.
Many older people worry that everyday memory lapses mean that 'something is wrong,' even though occasional forgetfulness is common among healthy individuals as well.
The researchers therefore wanted to document which types of forgetfulness are common in this age group.
The study included 307 participants over the age of 65. It was based on self-reporting, meaning that participants evaluated their own memory.
The researchers found that forgetfulness is very common.
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The most common issue is forgetting names. Nearly 72 per cent experience this on a weekly basis.
Searching for words in the middle of a conversation is also very common, with almost 64 per cent experiencing this every week.
Most focused on yourself
The results largely align with previous research, which shows that forgetting names and words is the most common type of forgetfulness.
In a 2022 article on Science Norway, Geir Selbæk, a professor and head of research at the Norwegian National Centre for Ageing and Health, said that forgetting names is often related to the situation in which you first hear the name.
“If you don’t enter the names in a proper way, it's more difficult to remember them afterwards. Perhaps you're at a party and mostly concerned with how you look. Then you won’t concentrate on the names of those you meet,” he said. “It has an impact on how the names are stored.”
Can the library become full?
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Older people may also feel that their mental 'library' of names has become larger and therefore more cluttered and difficult to navigate, according to Bystad.
"If you know many people with the same name, it takes longer to retrieve the correct one from memory, even though the library itself never becomes full," he says.
Selbæk confirms that the brain does not run out of space.
"Rather, the more you put into your memory, the more you remember," he said in the 2022 interview.
If you have been good at learning names, numbers, or places, it can help you when you get older. A large archive in the brain helps, according to Selbæk.
A selective sample
Bystad points out that their study has certain limitations.
"The participants represent a selective group. They have a high level of education and were recruited through a senior university programme. They probably have better cognitive functioning than the general population," he says, adding:
"The study also relies on self-reporting, which means participants evaluated their own memory. That's not always the most objective source of information. Factors such as mood, stress, and recent experiences can influence how people respond."
We become slower
It is therefore completely normal to forget names and words from time to time.
At the same time, Bystad believes it's an exaggeration to say that memory deteriorates dramatically with age.
"The changes are not as dramatic as many people think. The most important difference is that we think a little more slowly. This becomes most noticeable around the age of 70, but it already begins during our 50s," he says.
We remember things best between the ages of 10 and 25 because everything is new and the brain is more plastic during that stage of life, the researcher explains.
Can we improve our memory?
If you feel that your memory is failing you, Bystad recommends starting with three areas: stress, sleep, and tiredness.
Poor sleep has a strong negative effect on memory. Stress makes remembering more difficult, and a tired brain needs breaks from constant stimulation.
If you want to become better at remembering names, the researcher’s advice is repetition.
"In some cultures, such as the United States, it's common to use a person's name immediately after being introduced. Teachers are particularly good at this because they repeat students' names over and over. In Norway, however, we are generally not very good at using people's names in conversations. But if you consciously repeat a person's name several times while talking to them, it becomes much easier to remember," says Bystad.
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Translated by Alette Bjordal Gjellesvik
Read the Norwegian version of this article on forskning.no
Reference:
Bystad, M. & Rasmussen, I.D. Den glemske hjernen – bekymring rundt kognitiv svikt (The forgetful brain – concern about cognitive decline), Psykologtidsskriftet, June 2026
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